There is an anxiousness to trespassing which is similar to going out in public x-dressed. I think part of it is a subconscious anticipation of confrontation, of being challenged for simply being there - and yet there is a feeling of liberation, too, exploring somewhere that all the signs say is off limits.
And returning is a similarly ambivalent experience. Having re-scaled that perimeter fence and jumped back into the outside world there is some wariness (at being followed) but there is an almost exaggerated assertiveness at now being within the law and untouchable. One consequence is that while walking home in the middle of the night, dressed darkly with a tripod slung under my arm, rather than feel vulnerable it's the other way around, and I sense that occasional passersby seem almost spooked by my presence on those streets.
And returning is a similarly ambivalent experience. Having re-scaled that perimeter fence and jumped back into the outside world there is some wariness (at being followed) but there is an almost exaggerated assertiveness at now being within the law and untouchable. One consequence is that while walking home in the middle of the night, dressed darkly with a tripod slung under my arm, rather than feel vulnerable it's the other way around, and I sense that occasional passersby seem almost spooked by my presence on those streets.